One of the services we offer our clients who are being challenged by disgruntled staff, is mediation and conflict resolution.
Even healthy proactive organisations often have the need for this type of intervention. In our experience an external facilitator is often better placed than the manager to resolve these issues.
Our coaches are trained to conduct these types of mediations, creating a safe, non-judgemental space, where all conflicting parties can hear each other and the situation can be resolved, for their benefit and that of the company.
It can be quite a challenge for an owner or manager to handle these situations as it is often difficult to be neutral and calm, when you think you know who is really at fault. As external mediators we take on the role, ensuring that everyone is heard, and we facilitate both parties to come up with an agreed workable solution.
We have a process that has resulted in many successful and surprising outcomes.
The Process and Outcome
In this situation, two men working as service technicians for the mining industry, were refusing to work on site together. One man had been hurt physically and blamed the other for a deliberate action that he believed was caused the accident.
There had been sides taken across the organisation, creating disruption in rostering as well as morale.
The manager had tried unsuccessfully on two occasions to sort out the problem out with both workers, so an MBCI mediator was called in.
Setting the
Scene
The men refused to travel to the off-site meeting together. They both arrived angry and suspicious of the process and the mediator. The mediator set the scene explaining that she was there to enable them both to have their say, and that the goal of the session was to agree on what had to happen for them to be able to work together in future.
Immediately, one party stated that he was not going to co-operate, and it was a pointless exercise because he was never going to work with the other man ever again.
Surprisingly he was not the injured man.
Impact of the
Conflict
Eventually the mediator got both men to a place where they told the other what the impact of this conflict was having on each of them. Each spoke about feeling very stressed and anxious about turning up to work, as their workmates were now all taking sides. This was affecting productivity and morale for the whole team.
They both agreed that getting up and going to work was a challenge and they were both losing sleep and it had affected their home life. One had taken up smoking again and the other was drinking more than usual.
The mediator had sent them both, prior to the meeting, a personality profile tool which they had both completed. She facilitated a discussion where they both talked about their results and why the tool was accurate in describing how they each responded to various scenarios.
Sharing
Perspectives
Then each man was asked to tell his story of the incident, through which the real issues came to light. It transpired, that in his pain the injured man had sworn at his colleague, bringing up instant anger and resentment from his past.
He related some previous experiences he had undergone in his country of origin which had caused him mental anguish at the time.
He then went on to say how horrified he was when the accident occurred, and that he had had no intension of hurting his mate.
The injured man accepted the story and said he would like to be able to settle things down and work together again. He came up with some protocols to ensure an accident like this would not happen again.
It was agreed.
The mediator was happy with this outcome and then surprised when the other party suddenly stated categorically that, no he still didn’t want to work with his mate and got up and left.
The mediator debriefed with the injured man and thanked him for his forgiving attitude and willingness to engage in the process.
That evening the mediator sent both men an email thanking them for their openness and participation in the process. The next day both men responded positively and with thanks for the opportunity to get things out in the open.
Both said they had learnt things about themselves
Outcome
The angry man replied that he wanted to apologise for leaving abruptly explaining that he had realised he was at fault and was embarrassed.
He realised that he had an anger issue which he needed to deal with. Over the next two weeks things settled down. The two men cooled off and began to speak to each other. They both had explained to workmates that their issue was resolved and attitudes within the team relaxed again.
Both men are now rostered together again and are working amicably onsite. One of the men is getting help in managing his anger.
Setting the
Scene
In another mediation situation with two different conflicted men, after both had explained what happened to them individually, it was resolved that both parties were actually victims in what had occurred.
They apologised to each other for the confusion and misunderstanding. They then discussed what should have happened and how if they had communicated more effectively, the problem would never have arisen.
External
Mediators Work
Unfortunately because the company had tried to resolve the issue internally, they had let this conflict go on much too long. One of the parties had already decided before the mediation session that he would resign, as he had a job offer on the table.
Outcome
After discussing the issue and the escalation of the conflict that had occurred, they both took responsibility and talked about what they should have done as well as how their individual styles had made them react negatively. The two men left the session as friends and agreed that they would be able to work successfully together again, but that the new job offer was in the best interests of the other man.
A year later he is back in the previous company, having been head hunted by his friend who he had been in conflict with. He came back to the original company in a more responsible management role and the two men are
working successfully in partnership together.
Responses from
Those Invloved
Participant 1 – Your facilitating a meeting with us had better outcomes than other internal sessions. With the patience and perseverance displayed from you I believe that helped both of us. This meeting has set a course for a better future for both of us.
Participant 2 – Thank you for the mediation it did help as I also got to learn about myself yes it was challenging and emotional for me but hoping with time it will get better
Manager – (After the mediation session) I noticed a definite shift in his attitude so, I am optimistic that over time they will both grow and learn from the experience. I was unable to deal with this myself.
A month later both men advised that they would be willing to work together again onsite.
Conclusion
No conflict is the same, a nd often the outcomes are often not what we expect. If the process is timely, it ensures that division across the team is avoided, so that anger and un-forgiveness don’t become entrenched.
Each person needs to be heard in a safe open environment, where the parties are given the opportunity to have input into developing an agreed way forward themselves. This preferably occurs without direction and undue influence of the mediator, to ensure there are long term benefits for all.
The MBCI process places the focus not on what happened, but what the situation has meant for each person in conflict. If they can both learn something about themselves in the process that will help them in the future, then the mediation can be considered successful.
Our approach is always facilitative not directive. Our role is to listen and gently enable a healthy conversation to take place, where both parties are honoured and respected. If you would like to have a confidential chat about a situation you are facing contact us, don’t leave it to fester too long!